Back to the sources of swinging.
In the fifties the media referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s named “swinging,” but in any case of its name this sexual behavior seems to be rising in popularity among mainstream, grown-up married couples in USA. The popular media are paying increasing attention to the phenomenon, frequently putting a positive spin on the effects which swinging has upon relationships. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are organized swing clubs in just about all states as well as France, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are beneficial ventures which provide all levels of group activities for swingers including vacation plans, special retreat sites for swingers, and annual conferences and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers travel bureau, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in January of 1998.
What exactly is swinging? Dissimilar “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and acceptance of infidelity in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of numerous sex partners at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual action, treated a lot like any other social activity, that can be practiced as a couple. Emotional monogamy, or commitment to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the primary goal. Wife swapping is usually done in the attendance of one’s spouse and requires the consent of both to the practice. Though swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are rules restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its supporters claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the privacy and dishonesty inherent in one’s natural wishes for sexual variety, the pair can discover their fantasies mutually without cheating or shame. By removing the need for dishonesty from the relationship, a fresh height of trust and honesty about all of one’s feelings is apparently achieved without the destructive baggage of jealousy.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and scholarly interest because the challenge to merge sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is fundamentally “unusual” from the western model of romantic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are reciprocally reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle really strengthens or weakens marital bonds, but in an era where 38% of husbands and 31% of wives, sometimes so-called milfs admit to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 62%, and where family insecurity and parental neglect of children has become a main national concern, any effort to redefine “love” and fortify the marital bond is worthy of our interest. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, extend family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going section of the population reported in past studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the common population. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the contentment of their marriages and life satisfaction in general as higher than the non-swinging population.